© 2011 Paul Forte

A collection of short anecdotes submitted by various people

Short Anecdotes

Dad and his bargains
By Rosie Williment, née Forte (Brighton)
Dad loved a bargain, but sometimes it never made sense. 
For example, he once bought a pair of golfing trousers for the amazing price of £2 at a sale at his club.  He was really pleased with his bargain, but there were a few subsequent problems.  There were no flies, and no pockets, and they were too long for him.  So he took them to Giuseppe, his tailor, to have them sorted.  When we questioned the cost of all the alterations, Dad would have none of it and said "No matter!  Where can you get a pair of trousers for just £2?"

somewhat gifted on the dance floor.  Up until this point, the Mortalese locals knew only the traditional Italian dances such as the tarantella, but Consalvo took it upon himself to introduce the villagers to the more intricate moves of the Argentinian tango.
All was going well until news of this reached the local priest, who promptly wrote a very stern letter to the Bishop of Sora, informing him that the Mortalese people had fallen by the wayside and that the village was fast turning into a den of iniquity.  The priest was asking the Bishop how best to handle the situation and how he should put an immediate stop to this immoral behaviour.

Chocolate Enterprise
By Dame Anna Hassan, née Fusco
My paternal grandfather died when my father was just 18 months old. 
My father's uncle used to take him to visit the Fortes in their café in Belfast. 
They loved seeing him and all children there.  He would be lifted on to the
counter and then his uncle would nip him in the leg so that he would cry. 
Of course, being very kind the Fortes worried about him crying so they would give him a big bar of chocolate - which in those days was very expensive.  Apparently his uncle took the chocolate and sold it in my grandmother's shop.  Very entrepreneurial!

Mortale, The Tango and The Bishop
By Paul Forte (Brighton)

I recently discovered a wonderful story told to me by Alba Forte in Mortale who, years ago, was shown a copy of a letter to the Bishop of Sora from the Casalattico Priest.  The letter currently resides in the archives of the Bishopric and, sadly, she was unable to persuade the archivist to give her a copy.

It dates back to the 1930s, when a certain Consalvo Forte returned to the village from the UK.  Consalvo was quite a character and clearly fancied himself as

Dad and Double Yellow Lines
By Rosie Williment, née Forte (Brighton)

Dad always maintained that if you parked on double yellow lines outside Barclays Bank the police didn't mind, as 'they knew you wouldn't be long if you were only going to the bank'.

It took me years to realise that, when he was in business at the Western Road shop, a number of policemen and traffic wardens would go round the back entrance to the kitchens and be given free coffees/teas/meals, and they all knew which car belonged to Dad.

The Miracle at Lourdes
By Dame Anna Hassan, née Fusco
I remember mum telling me about Papo's family.  Papo's father, my paternal grandfather spoke fluent French and worked in Paris as a glass blower on his way to England, Scotland and eventually Ireland.  That is where he contracted and later died of TB.  He was very artistic and worked as a marble sculptor on

the Town Hall in Belfast.  Apparently his work can still be seen there.  We were also told that the family stayed in Marmande in France on their way to Britain and some settled there. They travelled with all their possessions in a hand cart.  Just outside Marmande, one of the children swallowed a needle.  It got stuck in his throat and he was choking and near to death.  The story goes that, as Lourdes was not far away they either took the child there or prayed to Our Lady of Lourdes for a miracle.  The child started to choke and coughed up the needle.  This was considered to be a true miracle by the doctor and the family.

The "Blind" Beggar
By Dame Anna Hassan, née Fusco
A couple went to New York to seek their fortune. They made money by begging with the husband, who was one of the Forte family, pretending to be blind and being led along the street by his wife.

As they were walking along, he saw money on the ground and quickly covered it with his foot.  He was angry with his wife because he said that he was the one that was supposed to be blind but he could see more than she could.  Apparently they had to wait until the coast was clear and she was able to bend down to get the coin.

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